Questioning Myself

The Unfamiliar Everyday

Do you ever get the feeling that everything around you is unfamiliar? A strange lingering feeling as if you don’t belong? Or just that ever repetitive question: How did I end up here?

I do. Right now I’m in the limbo that is unemployment. It’s strange and unsettling. You see, so far in life, I’ve been like a high speed train, constantly on the go and always busy with a project, studying or work. Now it’s like I’ve broken down. My mind whirrs and craves something to keep it occupied and my bank account is quickly depleting (especially in the run up to Christmas). Since I came back from Japan I’ve kept myself busy, applying for more jobs than I can count; doing some freelance work and writing for local magazines and, of course, my blog, which has kept me sane at times. But through all of this I’ve been living back with my parents, and don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, they’re amazing, but having lived away for the best part of 4 years, coming home has felt like a step backwards.

Now you must be thinking, why are you so unemployable? Trust me, I’ve asked that question so many times it’s etched into my brain! Beats me! I pushed myself during university, not only in my course but in my “extracurricular activities” which, for me, was being part of a fundraising group. I worked in events, marketing and management (without ever earning a penny) which has aided me in so many ways. Yet still, for so many jobs I’m not the right candidate. Who is? I hear you plea. Well they want someone who has just graduated and yet somehow has 5 years of experience in the role you’re applying for. It’s the impossible conundrum! But I refuse to stop trying, even if it’s not the perfect job, experience is still experience and right now, that’s what I need.

Other life updates include applying to poetry competitions. If you’re interested in doing this then I recommend looking on Creative Writing Ink which has a list of writing competitions. I’ve applied to: The Rialto, Kent and Sussex Poetry, Calligram, and The A3 Review. I also intend to apply to a couple of short story ones, but haven’t gotten around to that just yet.

In light of the sudden identity crisis I’ve decided to base this weeks writing challenge around that theme, and so my challenge is: To write from the perspective of someone who doesn’t recognise the place and people they live with. This should be interesting.

I’m going to get writing while it’s quiet here.

TTFN

-HB

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